(Pronounced: Ger-shock)
A PERFECT TRAP
[Verse: Roswell]
"September 13th, my name is Dr. Roswell Baxter. A few years ago, Brann and I were invited to research the newly found traces of dark matter on behalf of the Stanley Division. What we discovered was the existence of an infinitesimal fractal matrix of every possible timeline of Earth's history. In other words: Parallel Universes. However, in pursuit of this discovery, we encountered a looming calamity that has likely eradicated all life on Earth by now. My only goal now is to cross over to a new dimension. Brann successfully crossed over, and he's given me a blueprint that allows me to transfer my conscience over safely. The drill should be aiming towards the brain stem at the correct angle where the sample won't combust with the central nervous system... and... look, I had no time left to find the last of the anesthesia I had left, so you might want to turn this message off before it becomes a little graphic. If anyone survived to hear this message, I've left the blueprints for the crown to you.
[Break: Roswell]
"If you wish to find out more... I'll see you in Vylvyryn..."
[Electronic drum solo: Daniel Justo- Sanchez]
*screams of agony*
[Verse: Roswell]
"September 13th, my name is Dr. Roswell Baxter. A few years ago, my colleague and I joined the... the Stanley Division... to study the clump of dark matter that landed in the Middle East— oop, I'm not supposed to share that informa... oh, who cares, we're gonna die anyway. We stole it. It belonged to the Middle East, and we took it from them. Because our "president" wanted it more, I guess. But, it was so heavy that it— the inertia it took to power the ship extended our arrival date by a week later than we had enough rations for. In order to survive, I— I killed... some of the crew members. And I told the others that... we had more pork left over than we thought. But, I've been silent about that for so long...
[Break: Roswell]
"It feels good enough t— wait, wait, why is that beeping? No, that beep isn't supposed to go on! I followed all the instruc—"
[Bass solo: Scotty McRib]
*screams of agony*
[Bridge: Roswell]
"September 13th, my name is Dr. Roswell Baxter. I have to wear this crown... that will drill into my brain... and yet my head is already in so much pain, and I don't— I don't know where the rest of my anesthesia has gone... but I could really use some right about now, because in a min— GOD—! This is what I have to do. I have to drill— angle the drill at 180° X, 119.4° Y, and 84.7° Z— no, 87.4° Z— no, I mean— OH MY—! I have to angle the drill just right, I have to pressurize the hydraulics just right, I have to timeline the auto-mechanics just right, and I need to maintain a steady blood press— WOULD YOU—! Oh my God, I can't do this! I can't do this! How am I supposed to stay calm? This is too much! Why isn't it working?! I followed all the rules!! I did everything!!"
[Guitar solo: X]
*screams of agony followed by silence*
[Verse: Roswell]
"I rewound the tape... September 13th was eight days ago... I had no idea I had attempted the transfer that many times... there is no anesthesia... there is so much blood... dad had warned me this was all a bad idea... Goddammit... I HATE YOU!!!"